Behind the Looking Glass
by TheWhitestKidUEverKnow
Summary: Something went wrong last time in wonderland. Something Alice needs to fix. Sorry if it sucks, it's my first fan fiction!
1. Chapter 1

** Hey y'all! This is my first fan fiction so lay off me! Don't be hurtful, be critical please. I tried a lot and wrote for hours on end. It's not too long, but the next one will be longer. I'll update over Christmas break when there's no school and there's no fucking school projects. I swear teachers schedule them together! But anyways, read this and while I typed it I listened to Nirvana. It's a great band. Listen to All Apologies that's my favourite one. Just listen to them all, I'm obsessed with them! So read loves and review for some freshly baked cookies!**

****~Alice's P.O.V~

I should have never trusted Hamish. He is a bastard. He lied to me.

Where we pick this story up, I've wondered about for years. I sit and look at myself, wondering why? Wonderland should have been good for me.

Everyone in town knows what I did. They laugh at me, some look in disgust.

What exactly did I do?

Well, after I slayed the Jabberwocky, and proved myself the "real Alice", I returned from Wonderland with a heavy heart. For kneeling Hamish asking my hand, was more than an apparition. Poor, awkward Hamish stood there wondering why I fled that gazebo.

His blue eyes remained wide open, treasuring my presence. I wasn't deserving of his gaze. I remember looking into those dull blue eyes and saw a feeling in them. Almost like hunger.

My love for him didn't exist, as it never would.

My gut was telling me to say yes, but my heart disagreed.

Maybe my love would suddenly appear out of nowhere as I overlooked my family, and finally saw that spark with him.

It's never too late to try.

"Hamish."

He tried to smile.

I'm so sorry.

"Yes." So, so sorry.

The gazebo shook with applause. My sister looked proud, as if her advice had worked its way into my brain. Others looked.

They knew.

I avoided all gaze.

I never knew I could kill a heart so easily.

From then on I knew what it was going to come to.

Hamish and I never truly had love. I evaded him for months, so he wouldn't touch me. Lies could only go so far. But Hamish can be persuasive, forceful.

Nothing could sting worse than his tough love.

Before this time, my flesh was that of a porcelain doll.

Pale, flawless, delicate.

Now it lay riddled with welts. This was my doing. I had never been honest.

What if I hadn't followed my gut but my heart at that gazebo?

This is why I'm going to Wonderland. Something went wrong last time. The smoggy abyss lay ahead of me. The soil feels cold and spongy between my toes. I sensed a familiar presence. The slimy pink bushes rustled. Is it possible?

"Hatter?"

**Dun dun dun! Haha crazy cliff hanger right? Ha the next chapter will be really long, plus there will be lots of P.O.V's from lots of different people including Hatter, and some other characters I added. Review for some delicious cookies!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey again! I finally updated after FOREVER. Hope the few people who read this had a happy Christmas! I'm sick and am having an okay Christmas I guesss… **

**I will be putting the third chapter on here as well after I post this Chapter because I'm finally bored and have the time to do it YAY! :D**

**So here's the second chapter.**

_Hatter's P.O.V_

I still remember the little girl I waited for in this barren dimension. Dazzled, confused, but imaginative.

I watched as she slowly forgot about all that really mattered.

And here I thought I taught her well.

This wound I nurse is everlasting.

I waited in agony as he held her in his arms.

For he did not love her. He fed her tainted love, yet she never even swallowed.

It was left on her porcelain neck, the inside of her throat, and everywhere else the beast touched her.

Every moment, every tender kiss was in vain.

I even watched as he hurt her.

My Alice.

Not even sparing her in the presence of her own children.

Every agonizing moment. I had faith.

And waited.

Now the most beautiful woman I lay my eyes on stands before me, yet I hide.

She calls my name. I dare not move or breathe. If I am seen, more blows to my heart.

I cannot greet the sleekness of her, for this delicate creature smashed my heart without mercy.

I hesitated to walk away. She stood, dazzling, yet so lost. Of course she was, she was in the most dreadful wasteland you could come across.

And she was here alone.

Well not totally alone.

She could find her way.

I slowly rose. If Alice needed me then she would find me on her own. I wouldn't come to her. I searched for a spot with no leaves. Several led me away from the path.

So, with a heavy heart, I got the hell out of there.

**YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY! I did it! I hope Hatter's not out of character or anything. I was thinking for a theme song for this chapter and I thought of one!**

**It's Nights In White Satin by The Moody Blues!**

**I don't really know it just has that feel to it like unrequited love and that fits how Hatter is right now.**

**I love that song you should listen to it. For Christmas my cousin gave me a mix tape that had that song on it. Did anyone read Perks of Being A Wallflower? It was a brilliant book and I'm completely obsessed. My cousin gave me the mix tape Charlie gave to Patrick called One Winter. I listen to it religiously. Also I bought all the books Charlie read in the book that Bill suggested he read. **

**Well gotta get to posting. **

**Later!**

**P.s. Also later there will be added characters and some major twists to the story so get ready!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey again! It's me and it's the same day. I'm gonna get to the chapter already but the song for this one is The Unforgiven by Metallica. Look it up it's a bloody good song. On with the chapter!**

_Fluers P.O.V_

I mess things up. It's what I was made for. Day in day out I mess lives up.

Give them pox, sleep with their spouse. I can't resist it. It can mess your own life up too.

My husband is a rabbit. Don't get me wrong I love the bastard. For someone of my blood its unusual. He's one of the few I haven't ruined. I will never be able to compensate for what I did to the poor souls. I can't erase the visions of those select few, who, went mad out of my doings.

They lay with slit wrists, dreams crushed when it all gets to them. Depression comes first.

It's a bitch.

Then all the rest hits, like a freight train.

Hanging, a musket, it was all in vain. As you can imagine my conscience battles depression. To be honest, I envy those suicides.

They can end it when they please. Life is my eternal punishment. If I even attempted to end it all, I would live and suffer more. No one can ever begin to understand it. It all happened when that bitch Alice arrived.

Everything was about her. Even my dad payed more attention to her than me. I couldn't take it. The red queen had to know. In return I lived as her friend. Her only friend.

The red queen was my only friend as well. She loved me. My own father never even missed me. After Alice won the battle, I met the March Hare. He looked safe enough, and he never touched me. I was happy for some time. It was never enough.

It never is.

I'd lied and cheated him.

My sweet daughter Anastasia. I will never forget that sorrowful day.

_Whore. life ruiner._

_My tears mingled with my fluids, left on the dreadful stick. That pink fucking plus. Why won't it leave? How would I tell Marchie? He couldn't bear it. Rabbits and faeries, they can't do this. He's daft enough to believe, but I couldn't lie to my one and only love. _

"_Hey Marchie." I sounded ashamed. My tone needed to change._

_He turned flinging a tea cup. Shush my love. It won't happen again._

"_I'm so s-"try again._

"_I'm s-s-so happy." My eyes watered, not out of joy._

_He stared confused. "We're going to have a little us." _

_He banged on the table. Hush. I know. "I'm pregnant."_

"_Are you sure?" His Scottish accent rung in my conscience._

"_I'm positive."_

_His eyes lit up. I couldn't bear the fake hope. "Heehee!" He threw our teapot which landed with a crash._

_I could tell he was happy. I'd never know how we'd raise it especially when it won't look like him. He won't bounce a half rabbit child on his lap. It will be a full blooded, faerie child. And he'll know._

_Anastasia's P.O.V_

I can tell today's going to be a bad day. Mommy's mad. And she's never mad. I can hear her whispering to Daddy. She talks about this girl. She says that she's back. I don't like this girl. She's making my Mommy upset. I have to go tell her. She can't keep making Mommy sad. I have to.

For Mommy.

_Alice's P.O.V_

The sense left as fast as it had come. I had to find him. My heart fell as my eyes lay sight on this sorry wasteland.

What happened to this place? To Hatter? I looked down at my wrists, they cried.

They sang their song of woe, my bruises added in a harmony.

The music all seemed too much.

"_You were never good for anything. The only thing you gave me were children." _And they don't even love me. I see them, their young eyes looking at you hitting me. I see in their eyes that they know I lied. This only makes my body numb as you unload on me. I don't feel it anymore.

I am living one long routine.

Cook, clean, does what Hamish wants. Don't make him mad.

"Peas again?" Yes Hamish. Please eat them. "Learn to cook wench. Then maybe I won't hit you." I'm sorry. Hit me. I didn't listen. Let me know I did wrong. I still remember when Hamish was actually trying to be romantic. He'd smirk awkwardly and try to kiss my cheek.

At some point in time it wasn't enough for him. It's one of his most mundane characteristics.

Did Hatter know?

Did he see?

Did he watch as Hamish tore my clothes, used me as a human punching bag?

_He wanted more._

_I couldn't give it to him._

_What have I done?_

_Shake, shake._

"_You feel tense my love." No Hamish, please don't._

"_I'll help relieve it." He grabbed my shoulder. I don't want this._

"_D-don't. Please. Stop. Don't." words faded. They bounced off. _

"_It will be okay, you can't turn back now."_

_I cried, it had hurt me._

_I thought he was different._

I forgot all about this place. All that I loved.

Every idea.

Every dream.

Was forgotten.

I had lost all of my "muchness".

All the love left me. I had nothing to give. I didn't want to care anymore. I hated touching.

Everyone here hugs all the time. Love is doomed. I hate it. I don't deserve it.

Love had hurt me. What would Hatter think? I couldn't bear to see him. If he hadn't seem what happened, what would he think when he saw my battered body standing at his door.

I took one step.

I began the long journey to my old friend.

_Hatter's P.O.V_

"Morning, I reckon." My pain was hidden in the presence of Fleur and March Hare. There was so much love in their hearts. Fleur, my darling, ignores me.

Everything that's happened.

She blames me.

I've tried talk.

She wouldn't listen.

I am dreadfully awaiting the message posted on my door.

Indeed, Alice has lost her muchness.

I loved her.

I couldn't love her. She'd never love me. Pain can shroud it all. Fleur handed me my tea.

"Does anyone know why a raven is like a writing desk?"

"The Hatter's finally gone mad." Fleur sneered at me. Daddy, her eyes seemed to say, why didn't you love me? Why did you leave?

Her irises screamed their stories at me. She shifted uncomfortably. I could taste the disdain.

"Just might of." I sounded sour.

Anyone in my position would be.

My daughter hates me.

My only love is held by a monster every night.

I am completely mad.

Trapped in a mysterious, yet wonderful cage.

Alice's reassurance never did help my state of mind.

"_Have I gone mad?"_

"_I'm afraid you have. You're completely bonkers. But I'll let you in on a little secret."_

"_All the best people are."_

Her secret was a lie. My insanity made all else worse.

More confusing.

The tea tray was set before me as Fleur went towards the door.

"Probably the Tweedles. They were supposed to come by now."

March Hare stood up to launch a porcelain cup at the two brothers.

I liked the Tweedles.

They were all that was left the same in my world.

It wasn't the Tweedles looking back through the door.

I choked as she said the innocent words.

"Do you have any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?"

**Well my hands are broken now! Typing sucks so bad!**

**As for that cliffhanger, did it scare you? Who is "she"? You probably know already.**

**The chapter has a theme of forgotten, wether its childhood, love, or an actual person. So the Metallica song sounded perfect. Now I'm going to go write. After my hands heal from typing. Thanks for the one review I got from James Birdsong. You rock! Here are your cookies. **

**Review for a desperate writer. And you shall receive a plate of my "special cookies"**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey there! Ya know what no one even reads this so why do I even bother? I don't know but I guess its to entertain myself. I'm gonna ask my one reader if they will please encourage others to read this story. I don't care if they like it or not, I just want my story to get around. Thanks! The song for this one is probably Asleep by The Smiths. Listen to it I love that song. It kind of feels sad, but a different kind of sad. It's just different. Look it up. So anyways on to the story! Warning: some cursing, and references to rape, nothing really graphic though.**

_Fleur's P.O.V_

"Do you have any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?"

That bitch. She was gone from our lives. The hurt was being released. She has no idea what she has just opened.

And my father's eyes. That hatred. That rage.

Although my hatred for my father was IMMENSE, I grabbed his shoulder and sat him down at the table. His heart was delicate, something hurtful, yet wonderful, worth protecting.

"Come in." My tone made her shudder. Her pale skin was covered in scarves and hoods. Why all the cover? Nothing could hide you from the shame.

"Take your layers off love." My father had surprised me. Why was he doing this to himself? Again?

"I'm fine." She thought us vermin.

I was angry. Who did she think she was? She would listen to my father, she was the vermin here.

She flinched at the word love. Why so shaky?!

"You be polite. You come into my home like this, you're going to be polite." As I spoke I snatched the scarves, and peeled the jackets from her. I was only trying to rile her up.

All those bruises. There were so much bruises.

And the teeth marks.

My father sat gritting his teeth.

"What did he do to you?"

That was when she collapsed in my arms.

She screamed so loud. So horrifyingly loud.

Alice, please, wake up.

I didn't mean to.

I was jealous, stupid.

I don't want to know your sob story.

I just want to help.

My dad, he hurts inside.

I can hear him crying.

He hasn't cried since Mum died.

He puts his brave face on with us.

I don't want him to pretend.

Help us Alice. Help the hurt disappear.

My dad sat at the table waiting. His hand fingered our best porcelain tea cup. His knuckles were snow white. I watched him grit his teeth to a pulp.

The poor girl was hurt, badly.

We tied her down, she wouldn't stop rubbing and scratching her wrists. Her wrists. Oh God. They were a battlefield.

Her tired face remained tense in her unconscious state.

"What else?" My father fumed.

"What else do I need to know?" Daddy it will only hurt you more.

"I can't tell you."

My father was mad.

He was losing his head, gritting his teeth more and more to a powder.

My tragic father.

He still deserves all that he gets.

_Alice's P.O.V_

Fucking bitch. She doesn't know what she got into. She doesn't know. And Hatter's face. I would never see more disgust on someone's face.

My battered body is to be ashamed of. I am a disgrace to the world.

A broken toy no one loved. I wanted to get away from here. I opened my eyes and found myself back in my home. My arms were tied.

Another one of his games.

I felt suffocated. The room was stuffy.

"Hamish!" My heart began to pound. I felt feverish weak. The beast slinked in.

"PLEASE SOMEONE!" I always screamed, no one would hear.

He's slapping me climbing onto me. His breath smelled of cigarettes and rum. It was always when he drank. Always.

"Don't worry." He pushed and pushed.

"D-don't" I cried.

Hamish touched me. All over.

It all burned. He stroked my wrist.

He kissed it. And bit down. Hard.

My back arched. "STOP PLEASE! HAMISH! IT BURNS!" I was shaking.

"A-Alice?" Hatter stood in the doorway. This little girl came in, she was scared.

He was gritting his perfect teeth.

The other girl, the one with the pretty face, yet pained eyes.

She held me down and untied me.

I collapsed in a fetal ball.

I was cold. So cold.

Someone please come help.

Who's fiery eyes are looking down at me?

"Hatter." I croaked.

"Careful." He stroked my sensitive neck. I flinched. He retreated.

"Quite a scream you gave."

That girl. She was in the corner. She had hate in her eyes.

I pointed to her. Hatter turned.

"Ah, that's my granddaughter. A lot has changed since we last saw you." Oh, Hatter, I'm so sorry.

So, so, sorry. I'm sorry I left, that I wasn't good for anything. If only you knew.

I sat up and my bruises were revealed. Hatter gritted his teeth. Why was he doing this?

"We will leave later. The white queen would like to see you."

I nodded.

Hatter left. I could see his tears of pain.

I cleared my raw throat.

"Hatter?" His fiery eyes wouldn't make contact with me.

"Do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?"

He turned. Shadows fell over him. "I've no idea."

I didn't like the darkness that engulfed him. It made me sad.

Mostly because that darkness is me.

Me merge together.

This room. It's so suffocating.

It was small. And all white.

I didn't know white. It was a colour I never really did see.

That girl still stood.

Would she end up like me? We never know our fate. I used to have a wonderful life. My father. I was so innocent then. So beautifully innocent.

_The thin pale girl stood in the hallway. _

_Her father conducted business, he had not seen his daughter. _

"_Father." He turned from the table. I could see his eyes light up as his eyes met mine. I was his treasure. What would he think of me now?_

"_Yes poppet."_

"_I'm scared." So scared._

"_Okay." He held up one finger to his colleague. I jumped onto my soft feather bed. My father sat down and patted my legs._

"_So, the monsters are back." It was a routine. _

"_I don't know. I keep hearing things whispering about me. They say I have muchness. What is that?" I was so scared of the voices. They whispered._

"_Am I mad?"My dad laughed. His hand felt my forehead. He was so kind. I waited for the diagnosis._

"_I'm afraid you are. Completely bonkers. But I'll let you in on a secret." I smiled._

"_All the best people are." I laughed._

"_Are you going to be okay." I nodded. _That was it. I smiled. I laughed. I nodded. Three simple things I miss doing, terribly.

My father was a wonderful man. Few men had such an imagination as him. I remember sleeping soundly that night. All the voices were hushed.

I sat up flushed.

Just then I realized.

I never had to go back.

**Woooh fluff! I liked writing this chapter. Especially the flashback at the end. Not the rape one the other one! Yep and the song Asleep by The Smiths fits this chapter because Alice really wants it all to go away. To go to sleep. And the Smiths song is so bittersweet in this way it fits. So listen to it. And review! For my "special" cookies!**


End file.
